Ballot of the Absurd: Vote for Chaos!
Final scores2024 Presidential Election
Winners
1 of 25
Shall the state of Nebraska finally legalize medical marijuana, despite all the typos, mix-ups, and autocorrect disasters that got us here?
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Pick the correct answer.
PointsNo, let’s wait until the ballot asks us to legalize 'musical marzipan,' because that’s clearly where this is heading.
+1
Yes, because if we can forgive typos, we can definitely forgive a little high-stakes policy confusion.Correct
+1
2 of 25
Shall Colorado officially outlaw the hunting of extraterrestrials, because nothing says 'we come in peace' like a 'no hunting' sign for Martians?
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Pick the correct answer.
PointsNo, because if aliens are smart enough to get here, they’re definitely smart enough to dodge a few hunters in camo.Correct
+1
Yes, because the last thing we need is angry Martians showing up to complain about losing their hunting permits.
+1
3 of 25
Shall Kansas preserve the homes of our elusive pal Sasquatch? After all, it’s hard enough being a legend without losing your real estate.
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Pick the correct answer.
PointsNo, because this is just a ruse to get us to clear out land for Bigfoot AirBnB rentals.Correct
+1
Yes, because even mythical creatures deserve affordable housing in this economy.
+1
4 of 25
Who’s freezing out the competition in Alaska?
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Pick the correct answer.
PointsHarris/Walz
+1
Trump/VanceCorrect
+1
5 of 25
Shall the state of Texas build a public monument dedicated to BBQ sauce, celebrating its cultural significance?
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Pick the correct answer.
PointsNo, unless we’re adding a fountain of unlimited brisket next to it. Then, maybe.Correct
+1
Yes, because it’s time the world knows where the real BBQ Holy Grail lies.
+1
6 of 25
Shall Montana allocate funding for research into Flat Earth theories as part of its science initiatives?
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Pick the correct answer.
PointsNo, because last time I checked, gravity is still undefeated, and I don’t need more reasons to argue with my uncle at Thanksgiving.Correct
+1
Yes, because if we can’t find the edge of the world, at least we’ll have a good excuse for a road trip.
+1
7 of 25
Shall Alaska construct an elevator to the summit of Mount Denali to improve accessibility for visitors?
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Pick the correct answer.
PointsNo, because real adventurers know the only elevator they need is the one in their legs. Sweat builds character!Correct
+1
Yes, because nothing says adventure like skipping the adventure part and going straight to the selfie at the top.
+1
8 of 25
Shall a tax be imposed on companies that replace human employees with robots, with the revenue directed to workforce development?
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Pick the correct answer.
PointsNo, because it’s only a matter of time before the robots start taxing us for being inefficient.Correct
+1
Yes, because someone has to stop the robot uprising, and we could really use the tax dollars for dance lessons to out-twerk the machines.
+1
9 of 25
Shall restrictions on owning iguanas as pets in Florida be lifted, reversing the state’s previous invasive species policy?
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Pick the correct answer.
PointsNo, let’s not rewrite ‘Jurassic Park: Florida Edition’ unless we’re ready for iguanas to take over.Correct
+1
Yes, because who doesn’t want a prehistoric-looking lizard sunbathing on their patio?
+1
10 of 25
Shall Oregon establish a UFO Welcome Center to promote tourism and facilitate extraterrestrial engagement?
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Pick the correct answer.
PointsNo, unless the Welcome Center includes alien-proof tinfoil hats in the souvenir section.Correct
+1
Yes, because what better way to say 'hello' to our future overlords than with a gift shop and a friendly wave?
+1
11 of 25
Shall the state of Maine declare the Moon as the sovereign property of the people of Maine?
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Pick the correct answer.
PointsNo, because I’m pretty sure the Moon isn’t looking to be colonized by a state known for seafood and cold winters.Correct
+1
Yes, because why settle for land when you can have a whole moon? Lighthouses are nice, but lunar real estate is the future.
+1
12 of 25
Shall Minnesota repeal any laws or taxes penalizing citizens for not wearing pants in public?
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Pick the correct answer.
PointsNo, because pants-free zones could lead to some pretty awkward situations—especially during snowstorms.Correct
+1
Yes, because freedom starts with comfortable legs, and Minnesota could lead the nation in breezy innovation.
+1
13 of 25
Shall Washington establish a public fund to protect Sasquatch habitats and assist in the potential relocation of the species?
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Pick the correct answer.
PointsNo, because relocating Sasquatch sounds a lot like kidnapping—and I’m not about to get into a custody battle with Bigfoot.Correct
+1
Yes, because if Sasquatch exists, the least we can do is give him a place to hang out that’s not just blurry photos.
+1
14 of 25
Shall it be required for individuals to smile more frequently in public spaces for the promotion of mental health?
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Pick the correct answer.
PointsNo, because even with a smile, the traffic on the 405 won’t get any better.Correct
+1
Yes, because nothing says happiness like forcing it—big grins, California, or it’s a frown fine for you!
+1
15 of 25
Shall Nevada allocate state funds for the research and investigation of extraterrestrial life?
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Pick the correct answer.
PointsNo, because I’m not ready to find out that all the conspiracy theories my neighbor believes are actually true.
+1
Yes, because the truth is out there, and Nevada might as well fund it. Plus, what else are we doing with all that Area 51 land?Correct
+1
16 of 25
Shall Arizona legalize the raising of chickens on residential rooftops in urban areas for personal use?
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Pick the correct answer.
PointsNo, because between the chickens and the desert heat, we’ll end up with scrambled eggs before they even hit the pan.
+1
Yes, because nothing says farm-to-table like fresh eggs straight from your own roof.Correct
+1
17 of 25
Who’s snagging the heart of Virginia this time?
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Pick the correct answer.
PointsHarris/WalzCorrect
+1
Trump/Vance
+1
18 of 25
Who’s turning up the heat in Arizona?
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Pick the correct answer.
PointsHarris/Walz
+1
Trump/VanceCorrect
+1
19 of 25
Who’s ripe for a win in Georgia? This one’s peach-perfect!
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Pick the correct answer.
PointsHarris/Walz
+1
Trump/VanceCorrect
+1
20 of 25
Who’s suiting up for victory in the Mitten State? It’s gloves off, game on!
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Pick the correct answer.
PointsHarris/Walz
+1
Trump/VanceCorrect
+1
21 of 25
Who’s rolling in with a win in Nevada? Place your bets!
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Pick the correct answer.
PointsHarris/Walz
+1
Trump/VanceCorrect
+1
22 of 25
Who’s firing up the field in North Carolina? BBQ or bust!
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Pick the correct answer.
PointsHarris/Walz
+1
Trump/VanceCorrect
+1
23 of 25
Who’s ringing the bell for a win in Pennsylvania?
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Pick the correct answer.
PointsHarris/Walz
+1
Trump/VanceCorrect
+1
24 of 25
Who’s cutting the cheese in Wisconsin? Grab your foam heads, it’s go time!
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Pick the correct answer.
PointsHarris/Walz
+1
Trump/VanceCorrect
+1
25 of 25
Who’s going big in Texas? Bigger state, bigger stakes!
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Pick the correct answer.
PointsHarris/Walz
+1
Trump/VanceCorrect
+1