Ballot of the Absurd: Vote for Chaos!
Final scores2024 Presidential Election
Winners
- JSJDurtmcgurt211 18
- PApaula 18
- DBdanielb 17
1 of 25
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Shall the state of Nebraska finally legalize medical marijuana, despite all the typos, mix-ups, and autocorrect disasters that got us here?
Pick the correct answer.
No, let’s wait until the ballot asks us to legalize 'musical marzipan,' because that’s clearly where this is heading.
Yes, because if we can forgive typos, we can definitely forgive a little high-stakes policy confusion.
Correct
2 of 25
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Shall Colorado officially outlaw the hunting of extraterrestrials, because nothing says 'we come in peace' like a 'no hunting' sign for Martians?
Pick the correct answer.
No, because if aliens are smart enough to get here, they’re definitely smart enough to dodge a few hunters in camo.
Correct
Yes, because the last thing we need is angry Martians showing up to complain about losing their hunting permits.
3 of 25
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Shall Kansas preserve the homes of our elusive pal Sasquatch? After all, it’s hard enough being a legend without losing your real estate.
Pick the correct answer.
No, because this is just a ruse to get us to clear out land for Bigfoot AirBnB rentals.
Correct
Yes, because even mythical creatures deserve affordable housing in this economy.
4 of 25
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Who’s freezing out the competition in Alaska?
Pick the correct answer.
Harris/Walz
Trump/Vance
Correct
5 of 25
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Shall the state of Texas build a public monument dedicated to BBQ sauce, celebrating its cultural significance?
Pick the correct answer.
No, unless we’re adding a fountain of unlimited brisket next to it. Then, maybe.
Correct
Yes, because it’s time the world knows where the real BBQ Holy Grail lies.
6 of 25
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Shall Montana allocate funding for research into Flat Earth theories as part of its science initiatives?
Pick the correct answer.
No, because last time I checked, gravity is still undefeated, and I don’t need more reasons to argue with my uncle at Thanksgiving.
Correct
Yes, because if we can’t find the edge of the world, at least we’ll have a good excuse for a road trip.
7 of 25
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Shall Alaska construct an elevator to the summit of Mount Denali to improve accessibility for visitors?
Pick the correct answer.
No, because real adventurers know the only elevator they need is the one in their legs. Sweat builds character!
Correct
Yes, because nothing says adventure like skipping the adventure part and going straight to the selfie at the top.
8 of 25
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Shall a tax be imposed on companies that replace human employees with robots, with the revenue directed to workforce development?
Pick the correct answer.
No, because it’s only a matter of time before the robots start taxing us for being inefficient.
Correct
Yes, because someone has to stop the robot uprising, and we could really use the tax dollars for dance lessons to out-twerk the machines.
9 of 25
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Shall restrictions on owning iguanas as pets in Florida be lifted, reversing the state’s previous invasive species policy?
Pick the correct answer.
No, let’s not rewrite ‘Jurassic Park: Florida Edition’ unless we’re ready for iguanas to take over.
Correct
Yes, because who doesn’t want a prehistoric-looking lizard sunbathing on their patio?
10 of 25
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Shall Oregon establish a UFO Welcome Center to promote tourism and facilitate extraterrestrial engagement?
Pick the correct answer.
No, unless the Welcome Center includes alien-proof tinfoil hats in the souvenir section.
Correct
Yes, because what better way to say 'hello' to our future overlords than with a gift shop and a friendly wave?
11 of 25
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Shall the state of Maine declare the Moon as the sovereign property of the people of Maine?
Pick the correct answer.
No, because I’m pretty sure the Moon isn’t looking to be colonized by a state known for seafood and cold winters.
Correct
Yes, because why settle for land when you can have a whole moon? Lighthouses are nice, but lunar real estate is the future.
12 of 25
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Shall Minnesota repeal any laws or taxes penalizing citizens for not wearing pants in public?
Pick the correct answer.
No, because pants-free zones could lead to some pretty awkward situations—especially during snowstorms.
Correct
Yes, because freedom starts with comfortable legs, and Minnesota could lead the nation in breezy innovation.
13 of 25
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Shall Washington establish a public fund to protect Sasquatch habitats and assist in the potential relocation of the species?
Pick the correct answer.
No, because relocating Sasquatch sounds a lot like kidnapping—and I’m not about to get into a custody battle with Bigfoot.
Correct
Yes, because if Sasquatch exists, the least we can do is give him a place to hang out that’s not just blurry photos.
14 of 25
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Shall it be required for individuals to smile more frequently in public spaces for the promotion of mental health?
Pick the correct answer.
No, because even with a smile, the traffic on the 405 won’t get any better.
Correct
Yes, because nothing says happiness like forcing it—big grins, California, or it’s a frown fine for you!
15 of 25
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Shall Nevada allocate state funds for the research and investigation of extraterrestrial life?
Pick the correct answer.
No, because I’m not ready to find out that all the conspiracy theories my neighbor believes are actually true.
Yes, because the truth is out there, and Nevada might as well fund it. Plus, what else are we doing with all that Area 51 land?
Correct
16 of 25
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Shall Arizona legalize the raising of chickens on residential rooftops in urban areas for personal use?
Pick the correct answer.
No, because between the chickens and the desert heat, we’ll end up with scrambled eggs before they even hit the pan.
Yes, because nothing says farm-to-table like fresh eggs straight from your own roof.
Correct
17 of 25
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Who’s snagging the heart of Virginia this time?
Pick the correct answer.
Harris/Walz
Correct
Trump/Vance
18 of 25
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Who’s turning up the heat in Arizona?
Pick the correct answer.
Harris/Walz
Trump/Vance
Correct
19 of 25
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Who’s ripe for a win in Georgia? This one’s peach-perfect!
Pick the correct answer.
Harris/Walz
Trump/Vance
Correct
20 of 25
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Who’s suiting up for victory in the Mitten State? It’s gloves off, game on!
Pick the correct answer.
Harris/Walz
Trump/Vance
Correct
21 of 25
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Who’s rolling in with a win in Nevada? Place your bets!
Pick the correct answer.
Harris/Walz
Trump/Vance
Correct
22 of 25
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Who’s firing up the field in North Carolina? BBQ or bust!
Pick the correct answer.
Harris/Walz
Trump/Vance
Correct
23 of 25
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Who’s ringing the bell for a win in Pennsylvania?
Pick the correct answer.
Harris/Walz
Trump/Vance
Correct
24 of 25
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Who’s cutting the cheese in Wisconsin? Grab your foam heads, it’s go time!
Pick the correct answer.
Harris/Walz
Trump/Vance
Correct
25 of 25
Nov 5 @ 11:00 PM
Who’s going big in Texas? Bigger state, bigger stakes!
Pick the correct answer.
Harris/Walz
Trump/Vance
Correct
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